Simplicity.

When You Love Someone / Bethany Dillon

This morning was a fight to get up / Those words still ringing in my head / Never felt like such a fool in front of anyone / I guess that's what you do when you love someone / I was in Nashville, you were driving home / I wish I'd been in the passenger seat / I just needed you to know that I'm coming undone / That's what you do when you love someone / If I fall, I'll try a little harder and get back up / Please stay by me, love / That's what you do when you love someone / That's what you do when you love someone / Just give me time, if you need more / There's no way to ever really know / How to protect yourself or predict the outcome / But you'll do anything when you love someone / You'll do anything when you love someone / If I fall, I'll try a little harder and get back up / Please stay by me, love / That's what you do when you love someone / That's what you do when you love someone / I just hung up the phone / You've got a way of changing my day / You proved me wrong / When I was convinced I was alone / Yeah, that's what you do when you love someone / If I fall, I'll try a little harder and get back up / Please stay by me, love / That's what you do when you love someone / That's what you do when you love someone

posted by Jennifer @ 8:14:00 PM 0 comments

And Sometimes The Bad Brings The Good

I've learned that sometimes we have to experience the worst of the worst before we can move on and be happy. But sometimes this is for the best. The worst can actually help us. It can answer our own questions and show us what it is that we really want.

So, ironically, I am thankful for the bad times that I've been through and the words that have been said to me. Now I feel relieved and liberated. I know that I can move on and be happy and not look back and wonder, "What if?" I am now 100% certain that moving forward is the right choice for me.

I've learned a lot about life and people recently. Sometimes people let you down. Sometimes you let others down. You have to be careful with who you trust. People are fragile. We hurt. We bleed. We laugh. And we cry. I don't like to see people in pain. And I definitely don't like it when good, sweet people get screwed over (pardon my language).

But that's life. Sometimes we take chances. Sometimes we trust the wrong people. And sometimes they end up showing us that all they are is scum.

For future reference, listen to your instincts. Don't continue to trust in someone or something if it doesn't feel right or if you're questioning the situation.

Like I said, I don't like to see good, sweet people get screwed over.

posted by Jennifer @ 4:47:00 PM 0 comments

Morbid Thoughts

If you were to die tomorrow, what would you want to accomplish today? What would you say to your friends, boyfriends/girlfriends, ex's, siblings, parents...? And the list goes on...

I know it's extremely morbid for this to even pop into my head, but I'm honestly surprised that I haven't thought of it sooner considering I do write about dead folks five out of the seven days of the week.

I hate making decisions. I hate when the fate of things is in my hands. I'm hardly ever certain of what it is that I really want when it comes to certain things, and I'm even worse at actually going after these things when I do.

So what am I certain that I want? A good, happy life. A successful career. A book of mine on a shelf in a bookstore. A clean house. A puppy.

And how will I get all of this?

In a way, I feel like the only way that I will get what I want is if I get there on my own. People distract me. I let myself get too absorbed. I learn to love them, and I forget about loving myself. These are some things that I need to work on.

Of course, the decisions that I make today can affect me tomorrow. And I can't help but wonder if I were to die tomorrow if the people that I love would know the truth.

Yes, some peculiar thoughts have been running through my head.

I feel like I'm caught in limbo. I feel like I'm Lorelai Gilmore. I feel like something is missing. I feel like something big needs to happen. And soon.

posted by Jennifer @ 4:43:00 PM 0 comments

The List

30 Random Things That I Want To Do (not in any particular order):

1. Give “Catch Me When I Fall” to Professor Strickland, and inevitably get it published!
2. See one of my novels on a shelf in a bookstore.
3. Graduate from GSC.
4. Graduate from NGCSU.
5. Go to New York.
6. Go to Hawaii.
7. Go to Nashville (how random).
8. Vote.
9. Make a difference in someone’s life.
10. Write a novel that “makes it.”
11. Have my own advice column.
12. Buy a house.
13. Get a dog.
14. Shadow/Intern with a wedding photographer.
15. Tour CNN.
16. Go to the Georgia Aquarium.
17. Touch a dolphin.
18. Spend the entire day at the beach.
19. Coach a young girl’s soccer team.
20. See a Broadway play.
21. Go to a concert.
22. Go to a Braves game.
23. Go rock climbing (inside rock climbing), and take a picture (so I have proof).
24. Go to the laser show at Stone Mountain Park.
25. Get a telescope.
26. Ride in a hot air balloon.
27. Watch the sunset while sitting at the top of a mountain.
28. Complete my “four surrounding states” photography project.
29. Make a speech without feeling like I may die.
30. Continue volunteering with the Gainesville Parks and Recreation and volunteer with Rape Response or another organization.

posted by Jennifer @ 4:32:00 PM 1 comments

Being "Motherly"

I think that sometimes we have to, in a way, "mother" ourselves. Sometimes we have to make big decisions, and although we would love to chose one road, deep down we know that the other road is much safer, and inevitably, it's less bumpy for us to ride on.

Sometimes we have to protect ourselves from getting hurt or from making a decision that could lead us to pain. This doesn't make us weak. It doesn't mean that we're not living our lives to the fullest. It just shows that we know ourselves well enough to predict what we can or cannot handle or what is good verses what is bad for us. I'm sure that this gibberish isn't making much sense, but it's how I'm feeling right now.

Lately, all of my thoughts have gone to the blog that I now share with Cait, but this is more personal, and hey, I can't forget about this place. I mean, after all, I've only been blogging on here since 2004 ;)

Life has been ... well, there's not really a word to describe it. I just deleted about a paragraph's worth of words because I don't like to get too personal even on my own blog. I guess the bottom line is that sometimes change is good. Sometimes change is what we need. But then again, sometimes we have to push ourselves to create this change. I need to keep going in the direction that I've been in for the past two weeks. I need to eliminate the want to look back. Because the "mother" in me is telling me that going forward is the right thing to do ... it will bring me the most happiness ... and the most success. And this is one of those times when I know that I have to listen to my own motherly advice.

posted by Jennifer @ 4:03:00 PM 0 comments

Jewel - Stronger Woman Lyrics

I guess you could say / I'm one of those girls / that's always been with one of those guys / you know the type / like right now he sleeps while I write / But it's better than crying / worn out from trying / from loving a man who always makes it clear / I am not welcome here / Just till he's horney or hungry or needs something clean / you know what I mean / But not tonight / Cause come the morning light, oh / I'm gonna love myself / More than anyone else / Believe in me / Even if someone can't see / The stronger woman in me / I'm gonna be my own best friend / Stick with me till the end / Won't lose myself again / never, no / Cause there's a stronger woman / a stronger woman in me / light bulbs buzz / I get up / and head to my drawer / wish there was more / I could say / another fairy tale fades to grey / I've lived on hope / Just like a child / walking that mile / faking that smile / all the while wishing my heart had wings / well tonight I am gonna be / The kind of woman I want my daughter to be / I'm gonna love myself / More than anyone else / Believe in me / Even if someone can't see / There's a stronger woman in me / Won't lose myself again / never, no / Cause there's a stronger woman, a stronger woman / this is me packing up my bags / this is me headed for the door / this is me / the best you ever had / I'm gonna love myself / More than anyone else / Believe in me, even if someone can't see / There's a stronger woman in me / I'm gonna be my own best friend / stick with me till the end / Won't lose myself again / never, no / Cause there's a stronger woman, stronger woman / There's a stronger woman in me

posted by Jennifer @ 3:08:00 PM 0 comments

New! New! New!

Cait and I created a new blog. Check it out!

No Air
Jordan Sparks
(feat. Chris Brown)

Tell me how I'm supposed to breathe with no air / If I should die before I wake / It's 'cause you took my breath away / Losing you is like living in a world with no air / Oh, I'm here alone, didn't wanna leave / My heart won't move, it's incomplete / Wish there was a way that I can make you understand / But how do you expect me to live alone with just me / 'Cause my world revolves around you / It's so hard for me to breathe / Tell me how I'm supposed to breathe with no air / Can't live, can't breathe with no air / It's how I feel whenever you ain't there / It's no air, no air / Got me out here in the water so deep / Tell me how you gonna be without me / If you ain't here, I just can't breathe / It's no air, no air / I walked, I ran, I jumped, I flew / Right off the ground to float to you / There's no gravity to hold me down for real / But somehow I'm still alive inside / You took my breath, but I survived / I don't know how, but I don't even care / So how do you expect me to live alone with just me / 'Cause my world revolves around you / It's so hard for me to breathe / No air, air / No air, air / No more / It's no air, no air...


(And just so it's known ... I just like those lyrics. They don't describe how I'm feeling at the moment.)

posted by Jennifer @ 5:22:00 PM 0 comments