Simplicity.

Practical

I've always been a practical person. It wasn't until after high school that I actually made a few choices without thinking them through over and over again.

But you know what? I like being practical. I like doing what's right for me, and I like protecting myself from inevitable hurt and pain.

My life has changed. I like what I have going right now, and I definitely don't want to lose what I've gained over the past month.

Of course, at the same time, I want to be careful. Even the thought of taking a chance scares me to death because I don't want to get hurt. And more than that, I don't want to end up in the same situation that I escaped from not too long ago.

Luckily, everything that I've been through has made me stronger. I WILL NOT let anyone walk all over me ... push or pressure me ... or try to turn me into something that I am not. Not again.

But what happens when you find yourself in the middle of a situation that you definitely didn't expect to be in? I feel like I'm caught in limbo. But then again, I think I live in limbo. After all, it's safe here, and I like safe zones.

So how can I distinguish what's good for me from what's bad? Are there rules that I should follow? Or do they not even matter anymore?

I've learned that sometimes people are like chameleons. They can hide the bad well enough for you to fall for the good in them. Of course, you also can't let other people influence your decisions or the thoughts that are going through your head. Lately, my head has been full of thoughts ... this and that about life, school, and people. I'm in need of a new filling cabinet up there.

Of course, the number one thing that worries me is this upcoming school year. I'm taking 17 credit hours this fall and almost the same in the spring in order to graduate. Can I handle this? Will I actually be able to maintain some type of a social life? Right now I picture myself being locked up in the library all year. I want time for other things, but it just doesn't seem possible.

On the flip side, life usually has a way of showing us what we should do ... or can do ... even if it means jumping into water where there may be a few sharks. It's then up to us to dodge them.

Well, here goes nothing ...

Life, if you're listening, give me a sign and show me the way ... I'm ready.

posted by Jennifer @ 2:12:00 PM